Affection deficits
I understand "affection deficits": we label it as the frantic search for attention, anxiety, agitation, sadness, mood swings, the mental gymnastics about our appearance, the unconscious ways we present ourselves to others... In short, a lot of symptoms that outline a single syndrome./
The "affection deficit" cannot be cured with medicine, which only serves to placate its symptoms./
I understand these affection deficits./
I have lived them for a long time, and I still bear their marks./
A dress, a hairstyle, a cigarette, a tattoo, an attitude are not enough to deceive the eyes of those who are truly interested in us./
Is something wrong? They see it, plainly./
We evade, we run from those we know who truly see us, because they see what we struggle so hard to hide, they see beyond the appearance./
Yet it would take little to escape this state of "affection deficits." /
Like every fear, they exist because we believe they exist. Nothing more./
If we truly start to talk about how we feel, setting aside fears, masks, and prejudices, then we will begin to dig, to plow, to turn the soil, where someone else can sow. Perhaps something good can grow where once there was barren land./
People do not "serve" us, like doses of heroin for addicts./
They do not "serve" us, to avoid feeling alone, even though we often believe this./
We do not need to be accepted by others; rather, the opposite: do we accept others?